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About Deviant Core Member Evil Wicked Mean and Nasty42/Male/United States Groups :iconfight-night: Fight-Night
 
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Deviant for 9 Years
4 Month Core Membership
Statistics 1,771 Deviations 44,904 Comments 146,485 Pageviews

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Ya done did it now! by HotRod-302 Ya done did it now! :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 18 2 Outtatheway! Big and bad comin' through! by HotRod-302 Outtatheway! Big and bad comin' through! :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 7 2 We are the warriors that built this town by HotRod-302 We are the warriors that built this town :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 26 15 Real fine 409 by HotRod-302 Real fine 409 :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 7 6 The one that almost got away by HotRod-302 The one that almost got away :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 2 2 Hey HeiHei by HotRod-302 Hey HeiHei :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 6 12 The Big Man by HotRod-302 The Big Man :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 12 3 Rest in peace little buddy. by HotRod-302 Rest in peace little buddy. :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 12 43 Once a dream home by HotRod-302 Once a dream home :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 15 6 I thought you didn't have any guts... by HotRod-302 I thought you didn't have any guts... :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 13 13 Built to last by HotRod-302 Built to last :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 15 14 WELCOME TO HELL! by HotRod-302 WELCOME TO HELL! :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 2 1 Zombie Truck! by HotRod-302 Zombie Truck! :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 10 16 Adrenaline keeps me in the game. by HotRod-302 Adrenaline keeps me in the game. :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 13 6 Don't ever by HotRod-302 Don't ever :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 15 5 It's ALIVE... ish by HotRod-302 It's ALIVE... ish :iconhotrod-302:HotRod-302 5 5

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Sky lab by MightyMorphinPower4 Sky lab :iconmightymorphinpower4:MightyMorphinPower4 1 0 '76 Datsun B210 rear and front by Mister-Lou '76 Datsun B210 rear and front :iconmister-lou:Mister-Lou 13 3 Mitsubishi 3000GT SL by Mister-Lou Mitsubishi 3000GT SL :iconmister-lou:Mister-Lou 6 20 '81 Corolla SR5 hatchback by Mister-Lou '81 Corolla SR5 hatchback :iconmister-lou:Mister-Lou 5 4 Abandoned Island by Conjure-Digital Abandoned Island :iconconjure-digital:Conjure-Digital 14 5 Like a Dream by Karakuji Like a Dream :iconkarakuji:Karakuji 485 57 Dark Notes by dementeddiva23 Dark Notes :icondementeddiva23:dementeddiva23 2,659 448 Divine Light by Nichofsky Divine Light :iconnichofsky:Nichofsky 196 35 70 Barra Cuda by HotCarsLadyARL-Raven 70 Barra Cuda :iconhotcarsladyarl-raven:HotCarsLadyARL-Raven 2 0 2 Barra Cudas by HotCarsLadyARL-Raven 2 Barra Cudas :iconhotcarsladyarl-raven:HotCarsLadyARL-Raven 2 0 63 Vette And 40 Ford Coupe by HotCarsLadyARL-Raven 63 Vette And 40 Ford Coupe :iconhotcarsladyarl-raven:HotCarsLadyARL-Raven 2 2 70 Buick GSX by HotCarsLadyARL-Raven 70 Buick GSX :iconhotcarsladyarl-raven:HotCarsLadyARL-Raven 4 5 A Super Sharp 1969 Camaro SS by TheMan268 A Super Sharp 1969 Camaro SS :icontheman268:TheMan268 56 4 A Super Sharp 69' Camaro SS by TheMan268 A Super Sharp 69' Camaro SS :icontheman268:TheMan268 160 13

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Activity


Cleaning out a dresser so someone can rent a room from my house I came across a notebook that had a letter my mom wrote to me before she passed away apologizing to me for being sick all the time and how she was going to make it up to me when she was better.
Her writing was very shaky when she wrote it, there was a lot I couldn't make out. But I remember she felt so bad for me because I was taking care of her when she was sick. Broke my heart seeing that...
I have been refraining from journals and such because I  have been drifting away from DeviantArt but I kinda need the therapy of talking about it. A lot of the stuff that brought me here just doesn't seem to get the attention I'd like. (I know... everyone says that.) but there comes a time when you have to ask "Is it worth the time and money?" I commission art, so participation here on DA is expensive and money is getting tighter and tighter. 
My writing is pretty much over. I still get the craving to write my stories but it's all just going to be for me... and it's hard to do something just for me. I sure as hell aint gonna share it with the public anymore. Not after what happened last time. 
Work has been rough, but I think it's mostly my mentality from all the stress. I got promoted to Chef and literally a month in they decided "We don't need a chef position anymore." So I... essentially am doing ALL the same shit as Chef but not getting the extra pay. (I never got the raise to begin with. When I inquired about it that's when they got the "Oh, you're not slated to have a chef." so... but I'mfighting it. It's a union position, not sure if we can do anything but you never know. If I don't get the raise I might just step to a position that's not as high pressure but same pay rate. 

The good news is I have someone renting a room from me, $500 per month. So it's a bit of a break on money, but it still isn't going to compensate for what we lost when mom died. Still, it will help. They're due to move in two weeks, but I have to make some changes. For example they have a baby and the evaporative cooler is in their room, so it might get awful cold for the kid. So we might have to take it down and figure out how to afford to stay cooler. Maybe an air conditioner in the living room and fans. My room is on the lower level and it never really gets warm in here. It has to be in the low to mid 90s before I begin to feel it. 

But the stress has been bad lately. Giving me mega headaches and it doesn't help that it's been giving me nightmares. Here's a brief synopsis of what's happening. I was in-home care giver to my mom, who passed away a little over two years ago. In her final year or so her mind was slipping bad and her physical ability was declining at a terrible rate until she was falling all the time, she tried to do things on her own like use the bath room on her own because she didn't want to keep waking me up and she could see that I was physically and mentally and emotionally spent. We kept trying to find out what was wrong. Was it dementia? MS? we didn't know until we took her to the hospital who found the problem and FIXED the problem! 
Lately I have been having nightmares that she came home, she was so happy to be home, and it was all so real that I felt like it was real. But in the nightmares she always declined back to where she was the first time she tried to stand up, and she'd fall again. So for a brief moment I have hope, then suddenly I am back in the terror that gave me PTSD. Last night in the dream I pleaded with her, I can't do it anymore. I hated to say it to her, but it's scary to be in that kind of position, to ALWAYS be afraid to leave the house and to ALWAYS be afraid to sleep. 
But the hospital fixed her and we sent her to a facility to give her the physical strength back up to come home and be independent again. Her mind was sharper than it had been in MANY years, she was stronger than she had been for many years. It was like she got almost a decade of youth back! But the facility that was caring for her dropped the ball. the infection that was making her sick came back with such a vengeance she passed away on the day she was slated to come home. I held her hand until the end and for a good half hour after until the doctors came in to take her so they could take the organs that were donated. (And we got a letter of confirmation, those organs saved some people. So that's good!) 
But I am taking the that facility to court. It's scheduled for the end of next month. But I keep going through everything over and over and over again in my mind. It's very depressing and often stressful. I can't let things fade in my memory, though. I am going to NEED it. No matter what we wont be walking away with a lot of money, so that's not what it's about. Colorado has a cap on what we can claim in a wrongful death suit. 

Also, another cause of stress is my local friends. Man... it's one of those cases where I love my friends to death but one in particular I wanna slap the shit out of. But they're that special kind of fucked up that even though I can take them in a scrap they don't have the inhibitions to keep things civil afterwards, so I'd be looking over my shoulder for some kind of extreme yet childish revenge. Something stupid like chaining the driveshaft of my car to the frame.
HE's a car guy and the best mechanic I know. But he HATES my Camaro. Despite that it's a big part of why he likes cars. We hung out in high school and went cruising in it. But he's hooked on ricers now. He has a gorgeous 300ZX (He doesn't own it. He just builds it and drives it. He has some kind of sugardaddy who legally owns it.) It's faster than my Camaro and it's in better shape than my Camaro but... oddly... my Camaro would likely give the same return financially at an auction and I have far less money in my car. Still, I am happy he has such a nice car. But he wont touch my Camaro to piss on it. "Nissan Nissan Nissan!" There's work that I don't know how to do, but he does, but he always wiggles out of helping. 
HE shits on everything I like. If I say "I like that car, I'd drive it!" he goes into high gear "What? That piece of shit? That thing is a piece of shit!" 
We go running errands and usually I drive, he buys lunch. That's the deal. We go clear out to bumfuckegypt and visit an RC car place where we spend HOURS. Then I mention we're close to a place I want to visit, looking for some cabinets to expand my kitchen. "Nope. They're closed." he says with this annoying finality. 
"Dude, it's 3PM on a Friday."
"Yup. They're closed."
"I"m pretty sure they're open."
"Nope. They're closed."
So I drive by and the parking lot is FULL and people going in and out and I give him an I told you so. "Nope. They're closing. It's almost four and they close early on Fridays." and by then the mood is fucked and I decide not to go in. Besides, leaving him alone in the car is bad news. He'll fuck with everything in the car.
What he is... he's a narcissistic sociopath. Not even joking, he shows all the signs. It's not me being an asshole, it's just a fact. 
Argh, I'm slowly going crazy!
Ya done did it now!
Awww ya done did it now! If you're getting this look then you're already dead. It isn't going to be a clean death. It isn't going to be a good death. It's going to be a bad death. The only thing on heaven, hell and earth that can stop him is that woman in his arms and it looks like you put her out of commission. Praying will do you no good for God will say "I'm not sending my angels after that thing!". Making a deal with the devil will do you no good for the devil would step aside and let Repo do his work. Those eyes are peering into your soul. Burning through you. Analyzing every option to make you pay. Calculating. Burning. Seething.
Repo is a good man. He's a man of gentle nature. But everything that keeps him on this earth is evil. His body was reconstructed using evil magic and evil technology and in the process his good soul was educated on the worst possible things that can ever happen and during the process they did their best to corrupt his good soul, and they failed. But that last strand that keep him on the side of good is that woman in his arms and if she breaks... so does he... and he'll stop at nothing to get vengeance. All of the nasty little demons are about to come out to play all over your face and the whole time all you're ever going to see is his eyes... his teeth... his scowl... and eventually his smile until the horror is permanently burned into your soul and just when you think it's over... just when you think you're finally dead and it ends you learn a harsh truth about Repo. 
He can bring you back. He can bring you back and do it ALL again. 
So if you're going to pray don't pray for mercy because you wont get it. You'll never see it. Pray for her to be okay because she is your only hope.
So what are you waiting for? Better get on your knees. Doesn't matter how big and bad you are. It's your only hope.
Commission done for me WAYYYYYY back in the day by :iconeggplantm:
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Outtatheway! Big and bad comin' through!
A gift pic done for me by :iconmokuu: and it came at a good time, I need a pick me up!
What do you get when you take Native American spirituality, Norse mythology, super technology and a slight dash of insanity? You get this guy, Repo!
A big man with an even bigger heart he is slow to anger but when he blows a gasket he's virtually unstoppable. Looking at those action lines around him makes me think of how Repo is connected to all the spirits wandering around in the open that the rest of us can't see. If you're hiding from him odds are he knows exactly where you are because you have a ghost standing beside you pointing you out. "Yo, right here bro."
As grand as it seems being a supernatural superconductor like that isn't all that much fun! It's like the movie The Sixth Sense where spirits are always around trying to get help. Not to mention the total lack of privacy... 
A big thanks to :iconmokuu: for doing this for me!

I heard you've been lookin' for me but...
you look for trouble... you're gonna see.
Your words are dangerous. Your talk is cheap. 
Now I'm standin' here. Now I'm standing here.
You tell yourself that you know what to do when...
you realize that I am coming for you... then.
You change your mind and run like a child 'cause
You see me standin' here. Now I'm standin' here. 
Don't question my heart. Don't question the fire that burns inside. 
Don't question my heart. Don't question a heart prepared to fight.

I got where I am because I didn't chase fame. 
And I've seen you before and you're all the same. 
Just one more mouth talkin' words insane.
Just one more mistake with different names.

Don't question my heart. Don't question the fire that burns inside.
Don't question my heart. Don't question a heart prepared to fight.

I heard you're lookin' for me.
I'm standin' here.
Still standin' here.
I'm standin' here. Still standin' here.

youtu.be/_oV4yp61hrM
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deviantID

HotRod-302
Evil Wicked Mean and Nasty
United States
Current Residence: Northglenn Co
Favourite cartoon character: Coop (Megas XLR)
Personal Quote: Seriously, if you're not laughing, kill yourself.
Interests
Cleaning out a dresser so someone can rent a room from my house I came across a notebook that had a letter my mom wrote to me before she passed away apologizing to me for being sick all the time and how she was going to make it up to me when she was better.
Her writing was very shaky when she wrote it, there was a lot I couldn't make out. But I remember she felt so bad for me because I was taking care of her when she was sick. Broke my heart seeing that...

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:iconthewolfcreek:
thewolfcreek Featured By Owner 8 hours ago  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the fav my friend...
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:iconillmatar:
illmatar Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Thanks for the +fav:) (Smile)
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:iconhotrod-302:
HotRod-302 Featured By Owner 19 hours ago
You're welcome!
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:iconbobcatt:
bobcatt Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Professional General Artist
stealthmacro by bobcatt  thanks for the fave
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:iconhotrod-302:
HotRod-302 Featured By Owner 19 hours ago
You're welcome!
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:iconethinnes:
EThinnes Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Thank you for adding my Champion roadster drawing to your favorites!
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:iconhotrod-302:
HotRod-302 Featured By Owner 19 hours ago
You're welcome!
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:iconspiritofdarkness:
Spiritofdarkness Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Hithanks a lot for the +fav  Jack Plushie by MenInASuitcase
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:iconhotrod-302:
HotRod-302 Featured By Owner 19 hours ago
You're welcome!
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:iconmightymorphinpower4:
MightyMorphinPower4 Featured By Owner 5 days ago
Thanks for all the fave
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